Talking About Aging
Thought Provoking Songs and Questions for Self-Reflection and Discussion
Based on the musical workshop I’ve Never Been Old Before: Creating a Compassionate Response to the Changes and Challenges of Later Life, developed by Bob Payton and Denise Dreher which toured throughout the USA from 1995 to 2001. Featuring sixteen positive songs about aging performed on the banjo, guitar and harmonica by Bob Payton.
Topics and Songs
Role Models
What did you learn about aging from your grandparents and people of their generation?
What did you learn about aging from your parents and people of their generation?
Do you think the elders in your life prepared you for the changes and challenges of aging?
Do you have any role models for what kind of older person you would like to be?
How do you feel about becoming a role model for younger people as they age?
Are you comfortable talking about what it’s like to grow old?
Have you ever wanted to talk about aging but didn’t because it might make others uncomfortable?
Time
Do you spend more time thinking about the past, the present, or the future?
Is it important for you to stay connected with the past in any way?
Do you want to leave any type of legacy for the future?
What personal events in your life have made you more aware of the passage of time?
How do you feel about the amount of time you have left – is it enough, too much, or too little?
Does knowing that your time on earth is limited affect how you live your life today?
Self Esteem
Do you think people are treated differently based on how old they look?
What do you think about products and procedures used to make people look younger?
Is the experience of changes in appearance different for men and women?
When did you first realize that you were starting to look older?
How do you feel about the changes in your physical appearance as you’ve gotten older?
Have you ever had an experience where it was to your advantage to look older?
Cultural Attitudes
How do you feel about being the age you are today?
At what point would you consider someone old?
What words do you to use to describe older adults?
Are you comfortable telling people your age?
Have you ever seen anyone experience age discrimination?
How do the decades of your life compare to one another?
Family
How do you feel about having grandchildren and great-grandchildren?
Would you like to have the same kind of relationship with your grandchildren as your grandparents had with you?
How is the experience of being a grandparent different from that of being a parent?
In what way does being a grandparent affect your lifestyle and the choices you make?
Does the arrival of grandchildren change your relationships with your sons- and daughters-in-law?
How does the role of a grandparent change as the grandchildren grow up and become adults?
Retirement
How do you feel about retirement?
Are you making any plans for your retirement?
Is voluntary retirement different from mandatory or forced retirement?
Is retirement different based on your gender?
How does retirement affect your relationships with friends and family?
What are the main challenges of retirement?
What are the main advantages of retirement?
Housing
How do you feel about where you’re living now?
Did you have to make any lifestyle changes to adjust to your current home?
Would you be interested in relocating to a different area?
How do you feel about adult children caring for their parents in the children’s home?
Would you consider using special services to help you remain in your own home?
What kind of housing choices would you consider for your later years?
How do you feel about living with your adult children or other family members?
Love
How does the nature of a long-term relationship change as both partners get older?
How can partners in a long-term relationship continue to grow and nurture each other?
What do you think about age-different relationships, where one person is considerably older than the other?
How do you feel about divorce in later life?
How does the relationship between parents and their adult children change as all of them get older?
How do you feel about adult children returning home to live with their parents?
Do you think adult children have an obligation to help if their parents need personal care or financial assistance?
Identity
Do you prefer to be with people your own age, older, younger, or with mixed age groups?
How do you feel about becoming what society refers to as a “Senior Citizen”?
How do you feel about becoming eligible for programs and services that are for seniors only?
How have you adjusted to the many changes in the world around you?
What is it like to see the leadership positions in society passed on to the next generation?
How does your attitude about life affect the kind of aging experience you have?
Loss
What kind of major transitions have you experienced as you’ve gotten older?
What is your greatest fear about getting old?
How does the loss of something important, such as a job, a home, or your health, compare to losing someone you love?
Have you ever been so completely overwhelmed by the challenges of aging that you felt powerless or unable to cope?
What kind of support system would you like to have to help you through the major changes and challenges of aging?
What kind of inner strength or resources have you discovered in yourself as you’ve overcome major challenges?
Have you ever found that a particularly difficult experience had some sort of benefit or special meaning for you?
Lifestyle
Have your interests, hobbies or leisure activities changed as you’ve gotten older?
How do you feel about meeting new people and making new friends in later life?
How does being widowed or divorced in later life affect your friendships and lifestyle?
How do you feel about spending time alone or doing activities by yourself?
How do you feel about romance, dating and re-marriage in later life?
Have you ever felt pressure to stop doing something because other people thought it was inappropriate for someone your age?
Limitations
Have you developed any physical or mental limitations that caused you to stop doing certain activities?
How do you feel about using helping devices such as bifocals, hearing aids or wheelchairs?
How do you feel about asking for and receiving help with activities or personal needs?
Have you ever found that having limitations in one area caused you to develop skills or talents in another area?
Are there things you can do better now than you did when you were younger?
How do you feel about being a caregiver for someone with physical or mental limitations?
Health
How do you feel about the medical care you’ve received from health care providers?
How do you feel about taking medications?
How do you feel about the possibility of developing a serious or life threatening illness?
How do family relationships change when one person is seriously ill and the others are healthy?
How do you feel about appointing someone to make health care decisions for you if you become too ill to make them yourself?
Death
How do you feel about nursing homes, long-term care facilities and hospice care?
Have you ever experienced an intense period of mourning after the death of someone you loved?
What kind of things have you found most comforting after the death of a loved one?
Have you ever been present at the exact moment of someone’s death?
Have you ever participated in making funeral arrangements for someone you knew?
How do you feel about being appointed the executor of someone’s estate and having to manage their affairs after they die?
Spirituality
Do you feel that you are still learning and growing as you get older?
Is there anything in your life that gives you a sense of meaning or personal fulfillment?
How can we make the adjustment from being the one helping and giving to being the one who receives help from others?
Have you ever felt that you’d lived long enough and didn’t want to live anymore?
What role does good health and independent living play in maintaining the will to live?
Has your interest in faith and spirituality changed as you’ve gotten older?
Life
Looking back over the years, how do you feel about the life you’ve had so far?
How do you feel about having more birthdays and birthday parties?
What kinds of things do you think the future might have in store for you?
How do you feel about the approach of your own death?
Are there any special things you’d like to say or do before you die?
What do you think will happen to you after you die?
Is there anything you’ve learned about aging that you’d like to share with younger people?